Diary of a Slightly Crazy Latin 1 Student
by LunaPadma
Summary: Meet Emma. She's going to find the Roman Camp Half-Blood, with the help of her three best friends, Joe, Kaitlin, and Helen. After all, how hard can it be to hide one camp in the entire Bay Area?
1. Chapter 1

_Day 1-_

DUDE.

I don't think you understand how big this is. Rick Riordan wrote about my city! MY CITY! And he said that the Roman Camp is like, right near where I live!

And you thought I freaked when they visited San Francisco, Helen.

And they speak LATIN! What language am I taking at school? LATIN! It can't be a coincidence. It just can't!

So now Helen, Joe, Kaitlin, and I are off to find this Roman camp. And find it, we will.

_Day 3-_

After searching all over Walnut Creek, have concluded that, while Jason, Piper, and Leo appeared here, their camp is not here.

_Day 6-_

After biking about 50 miles (Joe insists it wasn't that far. Kaitlin insists that next time we steal her sister's car), have concluded that, while they fought that giant thingy on Mount Diablo, the Roman camp is not there.

_Day 7-_

Have found convenient road sign saying, 'Jupiter Avenue'. Led to house of crazy cat lady screaming at me in Russian. Have concluded she is not hiding Roman camp in basement. Besides, who has a basement in California?

_Day 9-_

Have found conveniently empty lot. Spent half-hour screaming, "Salve!" (which means hello in Latin). Nothing happened. Have concluded that either the Roman demigods have smelt my mortal-ness, or have been screaming for half-hour for no particular reason.

_Day 12-_

Am desperate. Have resorted to getting my dog to smell the Lost Hero and find the Roman camp. Have instead found 43 squirrels. Helen has found a suspicious-looking footprint in her front lawn, but is adamant that it is only her stalker, Jeremy. Joe stopped looking a week ago. Kaitlin thinks we're all crazy.

_Day 15-_

Kaitlin has found breakthrough. Am now staking out the hill by her house. Just saw three teenagers huddled around something. Am convinced it is a sword.

Sword is actually fake ID. Have confiscated.

_Day 19-_

Am losing hope. Have resorted to sniffing The Lost Hero and trying to follow scent. Have instead found Cold Stone. Fair trade.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews! But, anonymous reviewer, Emma is not moronic. She's not gonna look down a tunnel or highway and nearly get run over. Also, why would it be around the highway or something? There's no space for it. Also, kids appearing and disappearing would attract attention. Besides, she can't drive, as she's fourteen.**

_Day 22-_

HAVE FOUND ROMAN CAMP HALF-BLOOD!

Dog (Neil) was chasing squirrel when he disappeared. Followed Neil, but suddenly not able to go farther. Realized I had found Roman Camp Half-Blood, and started screaming, "Salve!" Sixteen-year-old hottie comes out holding Neil's leash (with Neil attached). He says, "Estne tu?" (Is he yours?) I nod. He hands dog to me and disappears. I memorize where it is.

_Day 23-_

Am back at Roman Camp Half-Blood with Neil, Kaitlin, Helen, Joe, and copy of The Lost Hero. Am yelling, "Salve!"

Same sixteen-year-old hottie comes out. "Oh," he says. "It's you."

"You speak English!" I say, excited.

"Wait, you're mortal! How did you find out about this place? Brother goes here?"

"No."

"Sister?"

I shake my head.

"Best friend?

"Nope. Look, you won't guess how we found out about camp, but can we come in?"

As if to demonstrate my point, Neil runs in. Again. Must be a squirrel infestation.

Sixteen-year-old hottie sighs. "Fine. I'm Marcus, by the way. Welcome to Campi Romani."

I stare at him. "Roman fields?"

Mark shrugs. "I didn't pick it."

He says something in Latin that I don't understand, and we enter Campi Romani and are instantly shocked. There are twelve cabins shaped in a horseshoe and a rather pretty bowl-with-fire sitting on top of a pillar in the middle. In short, it looks kinda like a Roman version of how I imagine Camp Half-Blood to look. Not like the movie, as that sucked.

Then my phone rings, and my mom tells me she's heading home. Unfortunately, that means I must leave.

"Um, we have to go," I say nervously, stepping on Neil's leash. "See you tomorrow."

"Bye…"

_Day 25-_

After a truly horrible amount of homework that should be made illegal, finally found time to return to Campi Romani with Kaitlin. Helen and Joe bailed, and Neil is at the groomer. Am now standing outside, calling, "Salve", until Marcus comes out.

I ask if we can have a tour. He nods.

He shows us the cabins, the amp, the cafeteria, the arena, and other things of note, but the only cabin we go inside is his, the Apollo cabin.

Have decided Apollo rocks.

Have also decided to become a demigod.

At the arena, Marcus asks what our names are. Turns out, we didn't tell him.

"Emma," I say.

"Kaitlin," Kaitlin says.

Then we leave, because of our science test tomorrow.

_Day 28-_

Teachers hate me. Have been doing so much homework that I haven't gone to Campi Romani. Can't go today, my aunt is here.

Have decided to reread The Lost Hero.

_Day 29-_

Am back at Campi Romani. Marcus wasn't there, when I called "Salve". Instead, some girl named Sarsaparilla came and asked why I was standing there saying, "Hello". I said that I was waiting for Marcus. Turns out, he, Percy Jackson (EEK!), and some girl named Gwendolyn (a daughter of Dionysus) went on a quest with these three crazy Greeks and Jason (WHO HAD RETURNED!). Have never been more upset I missed all of this.

Next time, I blow off Auntie Trish.

_Day 32-_

Have gone back to Campi Romani. Chatted with Sarsaparilla, who, despite having one of the most unfortunate names known to mankind (not including anything from Twilight. Zeus, I hate that book!), is very sweet. She's a daughter of Minerva, and she showed me her cabin, which has so many books, I could have died and gone to heaven.

Have asked Sarsaparilla what Percy Jackson is like. After getting description (nothing we didn't already know from PJO), she ends with, "Why do you want to know?"

Shoot. Backpedal, Emma, backpedal!

"Sister's best friend!" I squeak. Note: Find sister. Am only child.

"I thought that that Annabeth girl said he was from New York."

Quick, think up something! "I'm from New York."

"Oh. Well, you should've stopped by. It might've triggered his memory."

Why you never lie to a daughter of Minerva: "Well, we've never actually met. My sister is two years older than me and lives with my dad, in New York. My mom and I moved here when I was three."

My parents are happily married. Was born and raised in Walnut Creek. Mother was born and raised in San Francisco. Father was born and raised in Walnut Creek.

Then proceeded to pretend to get phone call from Joe and then left.

_Day 34_-

Stupid English essay kept me away from Campi Romani. Hoping Sarsaparilla can help me with my Latin homework.

Sarsaparilla didn't have time to help me with the homework, but she let me into Campi Romani, and I ran around there, trying to find a Latin tutor.

Have found Latin tutor. Bob Sella, son of Ceres. Ended up giving him Latin homework and going off to explore camp.

Am now lost in camp. Was unaware of tactical-training paintball-type field. Am now crouched in bunker, trying to decipher map etched onto wall. Am failing miserably. Would help if I could figure out if that thing was a river, a bunker, or that skull of the drakon I saw a while back.

Am now on top of small hill, trying to find a way back to the cabins. Only problem is, paintball-type field surrounded by trees. Fail.

Have finally found landmark I recognized. Found sword-hole that looked kinda like a dead cat. Have made my way back to camp.

Have also gotten Latin homework back from Bob.

Have left.

_Day 36-_

Have been unable to make it to Campi Romani. Will go tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

_Day 37-_

HAVE MET PERCY JACKSON!

They had come back to camp after fighting Gaia, and Jason was injured (!). So they came back to camp, and despite the fact that I'm sure they all think I'm crazy, Percy, Annabeth, Jason, Piper, and Leo signed my shirt!

Note to self: Never wash this shirt

Other note to self: Frame it.

Sarsaparilla asked me why I did that. I said, "Well, you know, they just went on a quest, they're big! Also, Gwendolyn was giving me the 'don't come near me' look, and for Marcus and me, it just would have added unwanted tension to our burgeoning friendship."

See Joe, it doesn't make me sound pretentious when I say things like 'burgeoning friendship'. I use it to throw people off the scent.

Marcus asked me why I freaked. I said the same thing. Without the 'burgeoning'. Then he pulled out a green Sharpie and signed my shirt anyway. I. Win.

Will be selling photos of shirt on EBay when Son of Neptune comes out.

"Thanks," I say.

"No problem," he says.

Commence: Awkward Moment

"Um…" I say, breaking the awkward silence. "I should go."

"Yeah," he said.

"Yeah," I said. "Um…bye."

"Bye,"

Then I left.

_Day 39-_

Have called emergency meeting in my room. Joe, Helen, and Kaitlin are all there.

I show them my shirt. Joe nearly has a panic attack (he hero-worships Annabeth). Helen thinks I'm lying, even though she's been to Campi Romani. Kaitlin is plotting the best way to steal it.

Helen asks me when I met Sarsaparilla, after I tell them the story of the Shirt Signing.

I tell them when I went to Campi Romani without them.

Joe freaks. "Why would you go without us?"

"Um…because every time I text you, you're either doing a ton of homework or in Santa Cruz, Kaitlin's grounded, and we could, and Helen lost her phone two weeks ago."

They look guilty. "And," I continue. "It's not like you can't go there without me."

"Yeah," Helen says. "But for the fact that we don't know Sarsaparilla, none of us speak Latin, and Marcus is _your_ friend."

"He's your friend too!" I protest.

Helen gives me a look. "You know what I mean."

"No, actually, I don't."

"Lemme explain," Kaitlin says. "Marcus likes you. As in, LIKES you."

"No he doesn't," I say.

"Yeah, he does," Helen says.

"No, he doesn't. Right, Joe?" I ask.

Joe suddenly looks uncomfortable. "Well…Emma…you know I don't like to lie…"

"Well, he doesn't. What made you think that?"

"Well, you think he usually lets a group of random mortals tour his camp?"

"Well, no, but-"

"And that he usually signs random mortal's shirts?"

"I guess not-"

"And he gave us a tour. I doubt he does that for actual campers," Kaitlin throws in.

"Guys," I say, putting a hand up in the universal shut-up gesture. "He. Doesn't. Like. Me."

'Well, there's only one way to find out," Helen says.

"I am _not _asking him," I say.

"Dude, that's so second grade. Ask Sarsaparilla."

"You know," I say, flopping on my bed. "You're awfully conniving for a supposed daughter of Apollo."

"And you're awfully dimwitted for a supposed daughter of Athena."

_Day 41-_

Have decided to go back to Campi Romani.

Am at Campi Romani. Sarsaparilla let me in. Marcus was busy planning the next stage of the quest.

Have found (according to Sarsaparilla) Marcus's best friend, Fabio. I get Sarsaparilla to ask him who Marcus likes. He says 'some mortal chick who he met about a month ago. Why?'

"Just curious. Natasha wanted to know," Sarsaparilla lies.

"Dude, can't you just tell her that never has and never will like her?"

"You tell her. She's about three times the size of me."

When Sarsaparilla returns, she said, "He totally likes you."

"But what if he likes one of my friends? He met them, like, a month ago, too!"

Sarsaparilla's eyes got really big. "There are more of you? Why haven't I met them?"

"They're all too busy to come."

"Well then, we'll go see them."

"Now?"

"No, next Tuesday. Of course, right now!"

So Sarsaparilla and I sneak out of camp. We start by going to Joe's.

"Why does he live so far away?" Sarsaparilla asks after walking up a really big hill.

"It's not that bad. It'd seem shorter, but we can't drive. We're fourteen," I say.

"That makes sense. Otherwise, I'd drive you," Sarsaparilla says.

"You have your license?"

"Of course not. I'm fourteen, too. But Lupa, she runs our camp, makes us get our license at sixteen so we can drive ourselves to battles."

"Can Marcus drive?" I blurt out.

"No, he's only fifteen. But he got his permit about a month ago."

I do some math in my head. Fifteen and seven months means he was born in…

"April '95."

Sarsaparilla laughs. "You stalker," she wheezes.

"No!" I protest. "I like to know the birthdays of my friends."

"Whatever. Mine's May 13."

We arrive at Joe's house. I knock, and Mrs. Carpenter answers.

"Hi," I say. "Is Joe there?"

"He's in his room. Go on up," Mrs. Carpenter says.

"Thanks, Mrs. Carpenter!" I say, running up the stairs.

"I told you to call me Christy!" she calls, chuckling.

We stop at Joe's door, and I knock on it.

"Go away, Mom!" he yells from inside.

"If I were your mother, I would have long, pretty blonde hair. As you very well know, my hair is short, ugly, and not really that blonde anymore," I say.

"I find it rather strange that you love my mother's hair."

I hear footsteps and the door opens. We walk in, and I collapse on his bed. Sarsaparilla remains standing. The door slams shut. "Oh, Joe: meet Sarsaparilla!" I remember suddenly.

"Your Minerva friend?" he asks. Sarsaparilla nods. And then: "Stop rhyming things with my name. If I get another rhyming birthday card, I will not be held responsible for my actions."

"Whatever. And I only sent you one of those."

"Three."

"I found that many different things to rhyme with Joe?"

"I was mildly impressed, too."

"Anyway, Sarsaparilla here wanted to meet you!"

"Hi," Sarsaparilla says shyly.

Joe knocks over his lamp. "Oh, hi!"

The cough I made only just _happened_ to sound like the word 'fail'.

After a nice little chat, we leave and head over to Kaitlin's.

She answered the door, singing, "Horrified looks from everyone in the room but I'm only looking at you!"

"Kaitlin?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

"You never appreciate my singing voice."

"What singing voice? Oh, by the way, this is Sarsaparilla."

Kaitlin stares intently at Sarsaparilla, who fidgets uncomfortably. "You have a very unfortunate name," Kaitlin comments.

Sarsaparilla blushes. "My dad was a botany teacher."

"Can I call you SARS?"

"Why would you nickname me after a disease that killed 774 people?" Sarsaparilla exclaims.

"I've nicknamed others after diseases."

"Yeah, me!" I say indignantly. "And the last time you called me E. Coli, it was the fifth grade, and I nearly decked you."

"Your name is Emma Colette. It isn't my fault; the nickname was screaming to be used." Kaitlin turned to look at Sarsaparilla. "As did Sar-saw-par-ill-a."

"It's Sarsaparilla. Sas-par-ill-a."

"Anyway, Sarsaparilla wanted to meet you," I say, interrupting their glare-a-thon.

"Hi," Kaitlin says, waving.

Sarsaparilla looks confused. "Is she always like this?" she asked me.

I shake my head. "Usually, she's worse. Kait, we have to go, and see Helen."

"Oh. Bye!"

Have decided not to go see Helen today, as it is late.

Will go with Sarsaparilla tomorrow to see Helen.

_Day 42-_

Am going with Joe to Campi Romani.

When we get there, Marcus lets us in. "Hey, Emma!" he says.

"Hey," I say. "Oh, Marcus, this is my friend, Joe!"

Joe waves. Marcus looks at him. "Hi," Marcus says with a complete lack of enthusiasm.

Joe smirks, before pulling out his phone and sending a text. I can feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. While Marcus isn't looking, I shoot Joe a glare, and wait a few seconds before looking at it.

**He thinks we're dating**

Clearly, Joe went nuts. He jumped off the deep end. I mean, who in their right mind would think that Joe and I…I can't finish that sentence. Joe's girlfriend wouldn't like to know that we're supposedly dating.

"So…" I say, breaking the silence. "How's the quest going?"

"Bad. We have to go to Mount Olympus, in Greece, and destroy Gaia, but there's something we need to know, but it's hidden in Percy Jackson-he's this Greek guy, but he lost his memory, so-"

"I think I can help," I say, shocking literally everyone, including myself.

Joe catches on first. "Oh. _Oh_." He winked at me. It's almost as if he _wants _to annoy Cassidy, his girlfriend.

After seeing his silent laughter when Marcus turns away, have surmised that Joe is doing this to annoy Marcus.

"Well," Joe says, catching his breath after his spastic silent laughter. "I'm gonna find some Venus chicks. You explain, okay?"

"Chicken!" I yell at his retreating back. "And what about Cassidy?"

"What do you mean, you can help? And who's Cassidy?" Marcus asks. "I mean, Sarsaparilla told me about how your sister was Jackson's best friend a while ago, but…"

"Cassidy is Joe's girlfriend. And I lied to Sarsaparilla. It was the first excuse I had. I'm an only child, and I was born and raised in Walnut Creek. But I think I might be able to help."

"How?"

"When I came to this camp, you asked me how I'd found out about it. The truth is I read about it."

"What?"

"There's a book series about Percy Jackson, called Percy Jackson and the Olympians. It's about all of his adventures. Rick Riordan, he's the author, came out with another book, called The Lost Hero. It followed Jason-"

"Jason?"

"When he was at the Greek camp and stuff, and his quest. And the book said that the Roman camp was near my house, so Joe, Helen, Kaitlin, and I decided to find it."

"And you think that if he read the books, he might remember? That's brilliant!" Marcus's face lit up, but then, just as quickly, it died. "There's just one problem."

"He's dyslexic," I fill in.


End file.
